Our greatest ally and nemesis

The mind, our mind, is a wonder... and also a great irritation. In the Buddhist teachings and practice we strive to quiet the mind and to understand the mind. We are dismayed to find that the more we strive for calm the more chaotic and insistent the mind is.

If we bring the practice from the meditation cushion into our everyday lives, being mindful, we are often struck by how unruly the mind is, like a child (or a monkey) it will leap about heedless of our intent for clarity and to abide in equanimity in the face of the conflicts and struggles in our lives. And on this energy of the mind our emotions rise: anger, sadness, despair, powerlessness.


The mind will loop scenes and imaginary conversations of events and people that unsettle us. So we struggle with the mind to stop this incessant revolving chatter. We struggle against the energy of the emotions that arise from the thoughts.


Maybe this is part of the problem. 


Our mind is the tool to keep us alive, to keep us safe, to solve our problems. It functions to aid us in a harsh world, it is our greatest ally, wants to be our best friend, works 24/7 for our, for its, survival. It is simply the way it functions.


And we tell it to shut up and go away. 


To our mind, our ego, this is insanity. It must save us from our delusion of abiding in peace in a threatening world. Of ignoring the warnings and paths to solutions of our problems that our mind ceaselessly advises and illustrates for us to act upon. Looping and looping advise, reminding us what happened before, warning what will likely happen in the future, rehearsing imaginary conversations and scenarios. It just will not stop. Because this is how it functions.


So maybe another tactic is required.

Maybe we could acknowledge our mind for its counsel. Assure that the advise is logical and is taken into account. Then request it to be quiet now. And...understand that this is simply the functioning of the mind.

I once had a teacher that spoke about two approaches to dealing with mental chatter. It was illustrated as there being two sisters: 

One sister is very sweet, When thoughts come up she says,"Thank you for coming, please sit down." She embraces all and moves beyond it, does not grasp to it, allows the thoughts to dissolve away.

The other sister is very strict. When a thought arises she says, "Stop." and does not grasp the thought and allows it to dissolve away.

Either approach is useful.

I mostly use the strict sister approach. But I also understand that I must first acknowledge my mind in its attempts to solve problems, I understand the information and the wisdom of its, my, sense of the situation, then I request it be quiet. Thoughts arise and I am mindful not to grasp at them,(not allow myself to be dragged along in them) because these loops are counterproductive. If heedlessly left to roll on they often produce a misunderstanding of the situation. We need the mind to be calm and clear in order to truly solve our problems, to clearly see what is actually in front of us without the overlay of projections, to live a sane life.

I have found an effective method is to sit down and write an action plan, if action need be taken, for a certain situation. This will allow my mind to quiet down because the information is now recorded and not lost.

Patience is a practice. Not patience in the usual sense, but a more inclusive sense. (This is a subject for another day)

There is a story from the life of the renown teacher Patrul Rinpoche. He came across a cave in a remote area in which a yogi was meditating. Patrul asked the yogi what his practice was. The yogi answered that he was meditating on patience and had been there in the cave in this practice, in solitude, for 20 years. Patrul challenged the yogi with questions and the yogi became irate, yelling at Patrul to go away and leave him alone. 

Oh well, 20 years in a cave.

Our life in the world is the great opportunity for practice; though not easy. But easy is not the point.

The conflicts in life are an opportunity

We all have experienced pain and uncomfortable emotions as the result of conflict with others. Those email discussions with a family member that turn argumentative. A heated exchange with a co-worker, friend or an acquaintance. Those inevitable debates at a family get together or with who-knows-who at a social event. And then there are those Social Media threads where you share your opinion and BANG the trolls come out to cause discord or someone with an opposing opinion attacks you because you dare to think differently from them. 

Events like this can cause us to feel uneasy, angry, sad, or powerless. There is probably physical pain. Our mind is ablaze with thoughts that scurry about with visions of reenacted scenes where we say the right thing and everything turns out right or we construct an array of pithy replies for that Social Media post. Our mind loops with imaginary conversations and scenes that are in fact an effort to redo the past or prevail in the future. The urge to act is great as our mind works to find ways to rid ourselves of uncomfortable feelings, to relieve our suffering; to do something!

Our thoughts guide us to embark on a course of action. Maybe the answer is to delete my social media account or only talk about safe subjects. Maybe it is to stop talking to my siblings, other family members, my friend or my co-worker. Or maybe this job is wrong for me and I should quit. Maybe I need to stay away from "those" people whose ideas I disagree with. Maybe I should move to another place and start over.  And in some people, perhaps their mind urges them to harm or be destructive to others or commit violence as a path to relief.

Sometimes the wise thing IS to do some of these things; never to harm another or commit violence of course.  

But is it wisdom to sever relationships, to leave a job or one’s location, or is it a reaction in an effort to relieve pain?

On the other hand perhaps we can do something completely different; we can stop and use these events as a precious opportunity, a challenge, a gift to practice.

Practice?  Practice what?

Dzogchen. You can do a web search to learn more about Dzogchen. There are many good books on the subject. The best way is to find a qualified teacher to guide one on this path.

My simple explanation of Dzogchen practice is that one is striving to experience the nature of mind itself, not be run by the energy of the mind. 

The ancient adepts speak of the nature of mind as an ocean and thoughts and emotions, energy, are the waves, rising out of and settling back into the ocean. Some use the image of the sky as the true nature of mind and thoughts and emotions are the clouds. No matter how many clouds, the sky is always there. Also the image of a mirror is used, describing thoughts and emotions as reflections.

It is not necessary to be sitting in meditation when practicing Dzogchen. Indeed you strive to maintain awareness at all times in the midst of all your activities and interactions.  Or you can remove yourself to a quiet place.

My experience when I have had conflict with others is a very visceral acute tension and pain in the solar plexus. No mystery here,the solar plexus chakra is said to correspond with the feelings of anxiety, fear, personal power, opinion formation, and spiritual growth.

So when an intense event occurs in my life, energy, as in emotions and garlands of thoughts, arise. I am embroiled in all of this energy. To employ the practice I remind myself that this is simply energy and the thoughts are riding on this energy. The thoughts are insubstantial, my mind grasping at them and making them solid and important is what is producing my discomfort. 

I strive to step back and become more of an observer, like a scientist watching what is happening in my being as though I were looking through a microscope or like watching animal behavior in a meadow below me as I stand on a hilltop, the rams rear and clash horns below as I study them.

It sounds so easy, but it is definitely not, one must work at it. To the grasping mind thoughts and emotions are compelling forces. As a beginner, mind is attempting to deal with the mind. It seems futile, but you must start where you are and eventually something else will arise within you. You will notice something you never realized is there.

At some point I will notice that the thoughts settle, then arise again. The pain may remain constant or rise and fall. I begin to observe that when the pain rises, which type of thoughts arise. When the pain subsides, which kind of thoughts arise. I am not trying to control the thoughts or change the thoughts; I am simply observing what is going on. I will find a place where there is a gap, like all the waves just settled into a calm sea. Then a wave will arise, thoughts and emotion, energy. Then it will fall back, calm, into a base, a ground, a sea.

I may play with it a bit, not to strive for control but to understand more how my mind works. Like when I observe a chain or loop of thoughts that have related to it a strong emotional energy, I try to hold it or repeat it over and over. The mind, the mental process, soon loses interest, it wishes to move on to other subjects of thought.

The mind likes to move, to try to hold a thought or stop a thought is impossible. Movement is the function of the mind. Thoughts arise and more thoughts arise, thoughts loop, repeating the same subject over and over, and spin off, skipping from subject to subject.

One very funny thing I have done is when in the heat of turmoil or loops I bring in the thought: Pink elephant running through green forest. Wow, the mind flips to this scene. Now I bring the thought: School of colorful fish swimming in the sky. These are thoughts but these thoughts create images that break the loops and chatter for a moment and this is instructive as to how easily led the mind is; how insubstantial thoughts are.

I can also use this method to lead the mind to a positive thought; like maybe that person who I had a conflict with is troubled in someway and I wish them the best. I want them to be free of suffering as I wish to be free.

I use my breath as a tether. I notice what my breathing is like. I am often amazed to find that I am holding my breath at times and at times my breath is shallow. If I am agitated my breath is shallow and rapid.

In breathing meditation I hold my attention on my breath, when thoughts arise I ignore them and return my concentration on my breath. My breathing becomes slow and deep going all the way down to the belly; in and out, it slows and deepens. And guess what?  I become calm and present. 

This breathing, deep and present, can also be employed when emotional and mental energy is strong to calm and bring oneself into the present moment.

The main thing is that you want to free yourself from being blown like a leaf on the wind of energy; you do not have to be run by your thoughts, they are just thoughts.

The spiritual technology handed down to us from the masters, reaching back to millennia, work. If you continue to practice, using what life places in your path, you will see glimpses of another aspect of your being. It may be only for a second, but that event will be profound for you.

But then... thoughts will rise again.  Energy, emotions, will rise again. The practice is ever present.

What has fear got to do with it? Contemplation on horseback.

For many years now I have struggled with fear when I ride my horse. This was not always the case, as when I was in my teens and 20’s I would jump on any horse, the more spirited the better, and gallop off, never a thought of falling, never even occurred to me then.

I stopped riding for 20 years and then at age 45 I bought a 2 year old Arabian mare. I was dismayed when I found myself trembling with fear when I got on her to ride.

Backing up a bit, I did train her from a 2 year old.  In her 4th year of age, after 2 years of ground work, I began to ride her.  She was great, only a few bolts and spurts over the years, but mostly really good.  Yet, fear assailed me.  I could diminish it by faking confidence as I rode.  I just keep riding, mile after mile, year after year, and it did diminish, yet never really left me.

My beautiful Arabian mare, who, after 10 years of riding her and working with her, become lame as a result of arthritis in the knee.  She was young, at 14, when it lamed her.  But a small percentage of horses will get this at this young age. 

So, I bought a 3 year old beautiful Quarter Horse mare, this one a red dun.  She had already been trained so I could begin riding her right away.  I felt very confident on this calm young mare.  The fear was mostly gone when I rode her.  Then when we were out on the trail one day she spooked and reared.  After that, I corrected her rearing by using a running martingale to remove the habit of throwing her nose it the air.  A year of this and she no longer reared.  However, she has bolted and bucked on a few other occasions and though I rode her out and stopped her, the fear rose up in me again.

Finally, one morning in the arena I began our ride at the walk along the fence line, as we had done many times before. Suddenly, she shied and bolted sideways, seeing something outside the arena. 

It is amazing how a horse can go from a calm relaxed walk to 25 miles per hour in one graceful movement. If you have never experienced the sensation it is a slight drop of the horse’s body under you, you feel weightless for a moment, then the sensation of  taking flight, pegasus on the wing.  However beyond this graceful surge comes the bucking, as it is instinctual for horse to kick back when they run away from a predator.  This action is meant to keep the lion at bay, or if lucky take out its teeth. 

Being thrown back by the suddenness of this surge, and my fault for not sitting as straight as I should have been, I could not regain my seat.  

There she was, my beautiful mare, flying across the arena, kicking back, as in bucking, violently.  In mere moments she reached the other side of the arena. There at the fence, in a magnificent athletic display, she shied and bolted sharply to the right; she really should be a barrel horse. 

This last movement tipped my bouncing body sideways, that last bit of no recovery.  My hands grasping at the saddle, it was an Australian saddle so no horn, I realized I was not going to be able to stay on.  Indeed, I remember the moment of my decision to give up trying.  

I forever look back on that moment and wonder, if I had tried harder to stay on, could I have?    

The image is seared in my memory of my leg coming over the saddle and my praying my foot would be released from the stirrup.  It is amazing what goes through the mind in mere seconds.  When I saw the stirrup falling away from my boot, I sighed with relief.  From the moment I was on my way down, from leaving the saddle, after the thoughts of stirrups and dragging, I thought, I am going to hit the ground on my back. Then, I waited for impact.  It came.  I slammed onto the ground, just as expected, my middle back hitting first, the rest of me followed.  I hit hard; gravity and a bag of bones, muscle and fluids. 

As I lay taking stock of my body, I took notice of the sounds of my beautiful mare, Sherakai, running frantically around the arena behind me, her hooves pounding the sand.  I rolled onto my side shielding my helmeted head in case she stepped on me. 

Later my partner, Amy, said my beautiful young mare was beside herself that I had dismounted her so ineloquently. 

As I lay in the sand, I took inventory; nothing was broken. I sighed with relief; no hospital bills.

I have a tough little body that I thank everyday.  No, I was not given all the things we women wish for to fulfill our image of beauty. But boy has my body taken me everywhere I wished to go, healed from every wound, recovered every bump, bruise, muscle pull, strain, returned to full movement from frozen shoulders, corrected the pain of plantar fasciitis, and not a bone would break when I took a tumble.  My tough little body has always returned me to grace. 

Back to the arena.  I rose and amazed that I was ok, I limped, (well, yes I was ok but shaken and pulled my groin muscle coming over the saddle,) to my mare, who Amy was now holding. 

Yes, I did indeed get back up into the saddle. One must.  However, now my fear was raging.  I was trembling, fear was affirmed.  Soon, in minutes, I got back off. 

Sherakai was frightened too, that predator had dragged me off her back!  She was just trying to save us. Not her fault I could not stay on. 

Never blame the horse.

She did not mean to buck me off.  She is a kind soul, yet had become more and more afraid of the world, out there.

I would like to note here for you horse people that I had her teeth checked after this event and we found she had sharp points that were shredding the insides of her mouth. I use a side pull bitless bridle, with a soft nose band, not rawhide.  Even so, the pressure of the noseband on her sore mouth had made her sensitive and the pain made her jumpy. Having her teeth floated removed this irritation.

It has been several months now since that fear affirming event.  I have been riding my mare and helping her become more calm with a calming herb, valerian, and magnesium, L-tryptophan, Vitamin B1. It is working for her. 

But, I am still afraid.

Riding her the other day I was struck by how I battle my mind, which plays images of what might be when I settle myself into the saddle.  She might just bolt, any second now. 

But, she isn’t bolting, she is walking along nicely. 

“Be in the moment,” I keep telling myself, “with what is happening now.  If a bolt happens then I will be in that moment and handle it.”  I council myself. 

I am out there riding my lovely mare. The sky is a clear blue above. I gaze at Mt. Baldy in the distance.  The sun is warm. 

“Maybe I should be the one taking calming herbs?”  I think. 

Riding along, just me and Sherakai, I keep bringing myself back, away from my mind’s urgent fantasies of doom, to the present moment where all is well. 

The present moment, on Sherakai's strong straight back, feeling the sway of her stride, just in this moment.

Then it accured to me. What does fear have to do with any of this?  

I am riding her now, she is calm. If she bolts I will take up one rein and circle her to slow and stop her. We have practiced this a hundred times and she knows the cue. 

All of this is simply being in the present moment and if something should occur, a shy or a bolt, then in that moment it is simply athleticism; the act of balancing, taking the reins and arresting her movement.

Fear, I realized, is simply in the way, it is of no use. 

The way is being in this moment and athleticism. That is all. 

This realization lifted the fear completely away from my being.  I was stunned to feel the freedom from the ever-present fear and replacing it was a confidence that all is well and all will be well, no matter what happens, as long as I remain in the present moment without emotion, as in fear, clogging the works.

 Ya hoo! 

I rode along amazed at how this changed everything.

Then the fear, its sharp tipped tentacles, grasping at the edges of my consciousness, inched back.  Amazed at feeling those pricking little claws worming their way in, I wondered, why?  Since I realized the fear was useless in my riding, why would it, how could it, come back? 

I mean, when we are children once we realize there is no Santa Claus you can never go back. Well, you try to go back, but you can’t. 

So why, how, could the fear come back?  When I know it is useless, I wondered.

Then it struck me, as my mare lifted her head at a bluster of wind and I left my contemplation to be ready, grasping the rein... incase... just incase... My mind took off then, creating visions of bolts and bucks and...

But my mare lowered her head and not changing her stride blew out her tension and continued along.  My mellow, L-tryptophan, magnesium, valerian, mare.

I had left the moment and allowed my mind to create pictures with the brush and paint of fear.

Returning to my contemplation of the why of fear remaining when I knew the truth now. The answer came clearly: habit.

I am in the habit of being in a state of fear when on my horse.  It is a comfy, well not so comfy, just a way of being that is familiar.  I am simply used to always allowing my mind to run off with images of doom when I am on my horse. 

Yes, I had a profound realization and I felt the truth and freedom of it. 

But the habit of fear has been part of me for a long time. 

Now, realizing this, I must kick the habit of fear. 

How to do that?

I will just keep practicing being in the moment and retain the knowledge that fear is a waste of attention and energy.  That being in the moment of athleticism, pure action, with no emotion attached, will produce the best result.

Even if I do fall, fear isn't going to catch me or save me.  It never has, never can.

It will disappear with time, I have no doubt, as I no longer have need or want of it.

Happy trails.

My teacher: Tatesa

Horses play a big role in Princess of Wisdom. Tibetans especially in the 8th century were horse people. I drew from my own horse experience to breath life into the horses in my novel. Also, I wanted to show the love that the characters have for their horses. I am always amazed when I watch movies with horses, as well as many novels I have read with horses, that horses are treated in the story simply as off-road vehicles that sometimes panic. The characters hardly interact with their horses, except to jump on, give a good kick and away they go...then yank back hard on big metal bits in their mouths to stop them. This is not reality and it is a good way to have nothing but trouble with your horse.

Hollywood has done a great disservice to the horse in their depictions of the way people ride horses for dramatic effect.

But we all know that people who lived day to day relying on their horses and interacting with these amazing beings had a sense of relationship with them, that they had qualities one could communicate with and that the horses communicated in return. 

I had a very good teacher in regards to horses. She set me on the path to learning about horses and understanding them. Her name is Tatesa (Ta-tay-sha), she is a full blood Egyptian Arabian mare. Tatesa came into my life as a three year old filly who was basically untrained.  

Not only was she untrained, but she had been badly handled by those who tried to force train her in the cowboy style when she was only one and a half years old. This gave her a deep mistrust of humans. She was sent to another trainer who set out to simply get her to the point she could relate to humans again. This trainer told me that Tatesa had been made crazy by these harsh tactics. We bought her from this trainer who got Tatesa to the point she would lunge in a circle; yet her fear was still noticeable.   

So, now I had this two year old Arabian filly who was frightened and defiant.  I set out to train her to ride. I say trained, not break, I never believe in trying to break a horse. I always sought out to learn natural humane methods. Tatesa did not need breaking, she was intelligent and high spirited, what she needed was someone to learn her language, communicate what was desired and then teach her using her own language. In the same way a mare will teach her foal to go there, stop here, follow me. A mare never breaks her foal. The same idea applies with training a horse.  

Since she was two years old I spent two years working with Tatesa on ground work only; natural horseman style. I had decided to wait until she was four years old to ride her, as that is the age they wait for in Europe. Here in American they usually start a horse under saddle at two. This is not good for the horse as their joints are not fully developed. But more than the physical concerns, it was clear to me that Tatesa was not emotionally ready for saddle work.   

So, everyday I would study the videos of natural trainers such as Pat Parelli, Buck Brannaman, Frank Bell, and then go out into the arena with Tatesa and communicate.  

At first I wondered what I had gotten into. It was like having a dragon at the end of my lead rope. She ran, and pulled and reared and bucked and kicked. But I kept at it, always finding that good note to end on, no matter how small an effort by her. To say I was discouraged would be mild.  

But then, an amazing thing happened. Each day I would walk to Tatesa's gate and she would watch me coming, halter in hand. I expected when she saw me she would turn and run the other way. But no, what happened was she trotted, yes trotted, down the hill to meet me at the gate for our session. Did I mention this mare was sensitive and intelligent? She made it clear she loved our work together. Gradually her fear subsided and we were communicating, she began to understand what I was asking. She began to realize I would never hurt her. Pretty soon she was anticipating what I wanted and would do it before I asked, just because I was moving into position. It was what happened before what was asked she was tuning into. And, yes she did teach me how to communicate with her as I used the methods I had learned, she showed me so much. I was successful because this mare was an amazing student.

When she hit four years old I saw a noticeable shift in her maturity. By the time I put the saddle on and got on, it was no big deal, she just carried me off and away we went. No bucking, just calm, no rodeo. After that first ride I swear she showed an attitude of pride at her success. From then it was teaching her communicating from the saddle, again like a mare teaching her foal or another horse in the herd, higher in the pecking order, directing her movements. And we had that firm foundation of the ground work communication going.

At first I trained using a mild snaffle bit. Later, I stopped using a bit in her mouth and began using a bit-less bridle based on the Dr. Cook model. I noticed an immediate relaxation in Tatesa and she was just as responsive to the bridle cues as before. More so in fact as she no longer had fear related to that metal in her mouth causing her pain. I never can understand how horse people think inflicting pain will cause a frightened horse to stop. Only training does that. A bigger more painful bit is only going to intensify fear.

Tatesa became a calm and reliable mountain trail horse. Which was what I had wanted.

As well as Tatesa as my teacher and the three natural horsemen I mentioned, I also studied and used the methods of Dan Sumerel and Julie Goodnight, all natural horse trainers who teach the language of the horse.

Tatesa in the mountains.

Buddhists do not worship idols

I as well as many other people was shocked when the 6th century monumental statues of standing Buddhas carved into the side of a cliff in the Bamwam Valley in the Hazarajat region of central Afghanistan were destroyed in March 2001 by the Taliban, on orders from leader Mullah Mohammed Omar after the Taliban government declared that they were idols.

Muslims are against idol worship. They, as well as others who do not understand Tibetan Buddhism, call Buddhists idol worshipers.

Buddhists do not worship idols. 

The art of Tibetan Buddhism especially is rich with imagery of many beings. Tibetan iconography is chock-full of symbolic imagery developed from Indian tantra and early Bon.  I am not going to speak of the minutia of Tibetan iconography here as there are great articles that can be found via an internet search that go into great detail. 

These beings represented in Tibetan Buddhist paintings and statues are either depictions of  historical persons, such as Padmasambhava, who is called the second historical Buddha, or others of the many who reached Buddha realization, as Yeshe Tsogyal did.  Marpa, Milarepa, Atisha, Mandarava are all historical people shown in regal garb symbolic of their achievements and station.  

Or, the beings depicted in paintings and statues are representative of principles that speak to aspects of our true being, our enlightened nature. 

Such as Tara, shown sitting on a lotus, her hand outstretched her foot poised in action to assist all who call upon her.  She is the mother of all the Buddhas.  She represents the principle of compassion.  All enlightened beings are born of compassion.

Avalokisvara, Chenrezig, is also a depiction of compassion, with a thousand arms, each having an compassionate eye in the center seeking out those in need with many hands to aid.

Kwan Yin  is the female form of Avalokishvara and the Chinese form of Tara.  She is the compassionate Mother who answers all who call upon her for aid.

These three above represent the principle of ourselves as Bodhisattva aiding us in dispelling those negative or troublesome aspects within ourselves that stand in the way of our realization of our true nature. 

Sarasvati means the one who gives the essence (Sara) of our own self (Swa).  She is the power of memory, the power of knowledge.  Her form represents intelligence, the power of intellect, the power of forming ideas.  She is the principle of our creative nature that is our intelligence and that produces all the arts: music, painting, sculpture, dance, and writing.

Manjushri, the principle of wisdom, holds aloft a great sword in one hand that cuts through delusion.  In the other hand he holds the texts of the teachings that show the way.

Vajrasattva, the principle of purification, purifying one of negative karma.  Lustrous white light emanates from his heart center as a mantra spins, each syllable casting light out that engulfs the world and all in it.

The wrathful-looking beings are in most cases wrathful forms of a peaceful principle.  The principle of using strong forces within ourselves to overcome negative and evil influences, which peaceful means cannot conquer.

Like Mahakala, the fierce and powerful emanation of Avalokiteshvara, the Bodhisattva of compassion.  In some cases one needs a wrathful means to guide and protect the individual practitioner from all kinds of deception and delusion and to bestow the power to overcome life struggles and to eliminate one’s obstacles and any impediment that hinders.

Yamantaka, the principle of protection of a Buddhist practitioner against evil influences, reminding them to destroy passion and evil in themselves.

And of course there is the depiction of Buddha Sakyamuni, the symbol of our enlightened true nature.

There is an old saying attributed to the Ninth century Buddhist master Lin Chi, “If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him.”  

He said this because Buddha is not outside yourself, it is your nature, awakened.  His teachings explicitly instruct one that it is a mistaken idea to misunderstand imagery and forms as idols for worship.  

It is a mistaken idea that Buddhists worship idols.  Rather through the use of art in imagry, song in mantras and dance as in ancient movement yoga, Buddhists use that which speaks to our true nature for the purpose of awakening.

What are Terma? My musings...

The Tibetan word, terma, literally means “treasure” and refers to Buddhist or Bon scriptures and relics retrieved from the distant past through a process of revelation. There are two types of termas: earth terma, discovered in the Tibetan and Himalayan landscape, like the Bonpo texts found in caves at Mustang in Nepal, and mind terma, discovered in the mind of the terton or “treasure revealer.” 

This later type might be hard to accept as being true.  Did the "revealer" make it up in his or her mind?  How can a treasure text be found in “mind space”? 

Dodrup Tenpai Nyima has said that for beings to be able to reveal termas, they must have at least the realization of the "perfection stage" practices.  Yet the originator of the treasure, like Yeshe Tsogyal, must have the attainment of a Buddha.

OK, I am writing this for those of you who have read my novel or will read my novel and have not known of Yeshe Tsogyal and are not very familiar with Tibetan Buddhism.  For those reading who are familiar with and maybe practice Tibetan Buddhism, I will say here that I am just an ordinary person sharing my musings.

My musing of this latter type of terma is that it is a mystery.  Yeshe Tsogyal's biography is too detailed to have been made up.  What it shows me is that we live in a very small world; our ordinary minds. The internet, Netflix, and yes novels, make it seem larger.  But it is still very small.  We educated modern people are missing something very large, immense in fact, that we walk right along side in every moment yet never see; our true being or true nature; reality.  I say walk alongside, though of course this is not separate from us. 

 Some think that ancient people were more connected to true being because of their everyday co-habitation with nature. Yet, they had their own distractions. Dealing with marauders and the many battles and wars, growing and obtaining food, building shelter, finding cures for sickness, could not have been easy.  And then there was also superstition, greed, hatred and delusion.  

Mmm, I guess not much has changed.

I have always been amazed when I have been in the wilderness  camping how much time is spent just to do ordinary things, like get warm in front of a fire, make a meal, make shelter, wash clothes; takes most of  my time when there.  

But don't get me wrong here...we need to be able to be in nature and we have to protect our wild places and keep them free and open for us to go there and live there if we choose.

From our view looking back in history, their lives may seem as simpler in one aspect, no busy freeways and technology.  Yet as technology has both freed us in some respects, it has also filled up our time too.   

Sometimes we who follow these teachings and methods will get a glimpse of a aspect of this true being, of our true nature, on the meditation cushion.  Or, we will have a flash or glimpse when not on the cushion but doing something else after our practice.  But it is gone in an instant.  Inspired, we grasp and grasp trying to get that glimpse again.  But then that is the problem isn't it?   

I have been very fortunate to have been to several retreats with a brilliant man and teacher, he will hate my saying this as he is very modest, Steven Tainer who teaches at the Berkeley Buddhist Monastery. Steven points out that the ordinary mind can never experience true being. (my term)  He just encourages his students to keep making a gesture through the methods, this will allow one glimpses.  These then must not be grasped, simply appreciated, then make another gesture and maybe another glimpse will come.  When that happens you go over to it and greet it, you don’t drag it to “you”; I am paraphrasing here. 

 Maybe the mind will rest and thinking will cease for an instant...wow it stopped "I did it!" whoops another thought?  It is so elusive. The ordinary mind that sits on the cushion trying to stop thinking can never stop thinking.  

A skilled teacher will guide one through all of this if one chooses to seek this reality we are missing. These traditional teachers sit on high cushions surrounded by flowers.  Yet, it is not the person who is revered in an egoic sense, I think that would be to misunderstand.  They share the teachings, it is the teachings that help people that is placed on the high cushion and is surrounded with flowers. Of course we appreciate and are grateful to those who have understood the teachings, realized truth and share their knowledge guiding others through the maze solely for the benefit of others. 

It was a beautiful sunset last night. Sublime clouds with lavender and pinks with deep reds here and there, the sky many shades of blue.  

Mmm, good coffee this morning, I hope you have a great day.  Breath...yum

An author's morning

I like to write early in the morning.  I get my coffee and toast with almond butter and fruit jam and yogurt with honey...yum.. and sit down at my computer in my shrine room/writing room.

My desk is set in front of a large window with a south facing view over the foothills cascading down in ridges of lesser elevation toward the central valley.  The view to  the east of our house, which can't be seen out of this window in front of my desk, is the Badger valley rising up to Big Baldy, the focus of this impressive scene.

Big Baldy is a Half Dome like rock in Sequoia National Forest. It always impresses me that beyond the view I see toward the east, beyond Big Baldy, a hawk could fly over forty miles of mountain wilderness, over Mt. Whitney to the desert.

If we saddled up our horses, Sherkai and Khiya, and take along a pack mule to ride over the mountain wilderness, it would be more like one hundred miles weaving  through forests and up steep switchback trails over granite passes, past lakes and down again only to climb up over another pass.  When I spread out the map of the wilderness comprising Sequoia National Forest, Sequoia National & Kings Canyon on my table and look at a trail to hike for a day, an inch is five miles. Beyond that inch is mountain vastness, it would take many days to cross it, maybe more.

To the west of our little ranch are more foothills, coyote and bobcat trails cut through the tall golden grass of summer on the hillside.

There are no lights at night except for the moon and stars. We spend each evening at the end of the day sitting out overlooking the vast open view and gazing up at the stars and the moon.  I feel it is very important to be able to see the stars, it reminds me of the truth of where I am; on a planet spinning in the unknowable.

I love listening to the coyotes call to each other from one end of the valley to the other, each has his and her own unique voice.

So, I like to write early in the morning when I am still a bit in dream state, or not so far from it.  I am very mentally visual at this time...so it is my best time to see the scenes that I write down.  That is really it... I see what is happening in the story and I write it down.  I also do not question what I choose to write in the scene,  I just start writing.  I can always change something later...yay, word programs.  ( I say this because I am old enough to remember typewriters)  Then throughout the day I will reflect on what I wrote and perhaps something will occur to me like... he would not have said that or she would have more likely done this, etc.  The next morning I will go over the previous days writing and make those type of changes.

I focus on getting the story written down, then I can flesh it out, with descriptions, clothes, sounds, smells, etc later.  I do not question my choices, I do not muddy up my creativity that way.  Of course a chapter can begin a hundred ways, why this way? Why not?  I don't confuse myself that way, I trust myself to tell the story. Later the characters help by making themselves known...yes that really does happen...it is a mystery.

Ok, well I was going to do a short bit about when I write and then talk about terma teachings...but I think this is enough for this morning.  Google "terma teachings".  I don't want to cut and paste what they are..next post I will write a bit about these.

 Mmm, good coffee..have a great day.  

Breath, you are alive.  Feel your feet.