Our greatest ally and nemesis

The mind, our mind, is a wonder... and also a great irritation. In the Buddhist teachings and practice we strive to quiet the mind and to understand the mind. We are dismayed to find that the more we strive for calm the more chaotic and insistent the mind is.

If we bring the practice from the meditation cushion into our everyday lives, being mindful, we are often struck by how unruly the mind is, like a child (or a monkey) it will leap about heedless of our intent for clarity and to abide in equanimity in the face of the conflicts and struggles in our lives. And on this energy of the mind our emotions rise: anger, sadness, despair, powerlessness.


The mind will loop scenes and imaginary conversations of events and people that unsettle us. So we struggle with the mind to stop this incessant revolving chatter. We struggle against the energy of the emotions that arise from the thoughts.


Maybe this is part of the problem. 


Our mind is the tool to keep us alive, to keep us safe, to solve our problems. It functions to aid us in a harsh world, it is our greatest ally, wants to be our best friend, works 24/7 for our, for its, survival. It is simply the way it functions.


And we tell it to shut up and go away. 


To our mind, our ego, this is insanity. It must save us from our delusion of abiding in peace in a threatening world. Of ignoring the warnings and paths to solutions of our problems that our mind ceaselessly advises and illustrates for us to act upon. Looping and looping advise, reminding us what happened before, warning what will likely happen in the future, rehearsing imaginary conversations and scenarios. It just will not stop. Because this is how it functions.


So maybe another tactic is required.

Maybe we could acknowledge our mind for its counsel. Assure that the advise is logical and is taken into account. Then request it to be quiet now. And...understand that this is simply the functioning of the mind.

I once had a teacher that spoke about two approaches to dealing with mental chatter. It was illustrated as there being two sisters: 

One sister is very sweet, When thoughts come up she says,"Thank you for coming, please sit down." She embraces all and moves beyond it, does not grasp to it, allows the thoughts to dissolve away.

The other sister is very strict. When a thought arises she says, "Stop." and does not grasp the thought and allows it to dissolve away.

Either approach is useful.

I mostly use the strict sister approach. But I also understand that I must first acknowledge my mind in its attempts to solve problems, I understand the information and the wisdom of its, my, sense of the situation, then I request it be quiet. Thoughts arise and I am mindful not to grasp at them,(not allow myself to be dragged along in them) because these loops are counterproductive. If heedlessly left to roll on they often produce a misunderstanding of the situation. We need the mind to be calm and clear in order to truly solve our problems, to clearly see what is actually in front of us without the overlay of projections, to live a sane life.

I have found an effective method is to sit down and write an action plan, if action need be taken, for a certain situation. This will allow my mind to quiet down because the information is now recorded and not lost.

Patience is a practice. Not patience in the usual sense, but a more inclusive sense. (This is a subject for another day)

There is a story from the life of the renown teacher Patrul Rinpoche. He came across a cave in a remote area in which a yogi was meditating. Patrul asked the yogi what his practice was. The yogi answered that he was meditating on patience and had been there in the cave in this practice, in solitude, for 20 years. Patrul challenged the yogi with questions and the yogi became irate, yelling at Patrul to go away and leave him alone. 

Oh well, 20 years in a cave.

Our life in the world is the great opportunity for practice; though not easy. But easy is not the point.

The conflicts in life are an opportunity

We all have experienced pain and uncomfortable emotions as the result of conflict with others. Those email discussions with a family member that turn argumentative. A heated exchange with a co-worker, friend or an acquaintance. Those inevitable debates at a family get together or with who-knows-who at a social event. And then there are those Social Media threads where you share your opinion and BANG the trolls come out to cause discord or someone with an opposing opinion attacks you because you dare to think differently from them. 

Events like this can cause us to feel uneasy, angry, sad, or powerless. There is probably physical pain. Our mind is ablaze with thoughts that scurry about with visions of reenacted scenes where we say the right thing and everything turns out right or we construct an array of pithy replies for that Social Media post. Our mind loops with imaginary conversations and scenes that are in fact an effort to redo the past or prevail in the future. The urge to act is great as our mind works to find ways to rid ourselves of uncomfortable feelings, to relieve our suffering; to do something!

Our thoughts guide us to embark on a course of action. Maybe the answer is to delete my social media account or only talk about safe subjects. Maybe it is to stop talking to my siblings, other family members, my friend or my co-worker. Or maybe this job is wrong for me and I should quit. Maybe I need to stay away from "those" people whose ideas I disagree with. Maybe I should move to another place and start over.  And in some people, perhaps their mind urges them to harm or be destructive to others or commit violence as a path to relief.

Sometimes the wise thing IS to do some of these things; never to harm another or commit violence of course.  

But is it wisdom to sever relationships, to leave a job or one’s location, or is it a reaction in an effort to relieve pain?

On the other hand perhaps we can do something completely different; we can stop and use these events as a precious opportunity, a challenge, a gift to practice.

Practice?  Practice what?

Dzogchen. You can do a web search to learn more about Dzogchen. There are many good books on the subject. The best way is to find a qualified teacher to guide one on this path.

My simple explanation of Dzogchen practice is that one is striving to experience the nature of mind itself, not be run by the energy of the mind. 

The ancient adepts speak of the nature of mind as an ocean and thoughts and emotions, energy, are the waves, rising out of and settling back into the ocean. Some use the image of the sky as the true nature of mind and thoughts and emotions are the clouds. No matter how many clouds, the sky is always there. Also the image of a mirror is used, describing thoughts and emotions as reflections.

It is not necessary to be sitting in meditation when practicing Dzogchen. Indeed you strive to maintain awareness at all times in the midst of all your activities and interactions.  Or you can remove yourself to a quiet place.

My experience when I have had conflict with others is a very visceral acute tension and pain in the solar plexus. No mystery here,the solar plexus chakra is said to correspond with the feelings of anxiety, fear, personal power, opinion formation, and spiritual growth.

So when an intense event occurs in my life, energy, as in emotions and garlands of thoughts, arise. I am embroiled in all of this energy. To employ the practice I remind myself that this is simply energy and the thoughts are riding on this energy. The thoughts are insubstantial, my mind grasping at them and making them solid and important is what is producing my discomfort. 

I strive to step back and become more of an observer, like a scientist watching what is happening in my being as though I were looking through a microscope or like watching animal behavior in a meadow below me as I stand on a hilltop, the rams rear and clash horns below as I study them.

It sounds so easy, but it is definitely not, one must work at it. To the grasping mind thoughts and emotions are compelling forces. As a beginner, mind is attempting to deal with the mind. It seems futile, but you must start where you are and eventually something else will arise within you. You will notice something you never realized is there.

At some point I will notice that the thoughts settle, then arise again. The pain may remain constant or rise and fall. I begin to observe that when the pain rises, which type of thoughts arise. When the pain subsides, which kind of thoughts arise. I am not trying to control the thoughts or change the thoughts; I am simply observing what is going on. I will find a place where there is a gap, like all the waves just settled into a calm sea. Then a wave will arise, thoughts and emotion, energy. Then it will fall back, calm, into a base, a ground, a sea.

I may play with it a bit, not to strive for control but to understand more how my mind works. Like when I observe a chain or loop of thoughts that have related to it a strong emotional energy, I try to hold it or repeat it over and over. The mind, the mental process, soon loses interest, it wishes to move on to other subjects of thought.

The mind likes to move, to try to hold a thought or stop a thought is impossible. Movement is the function of the mind. Thoughts arise and more thoughts arise, thoughts loop, repeating the same subject over and over, and spin off, skipping from subject to subject.

One very funny thing I have done is when in the heat of turmoil or loops I bring in the thought: Pink elephant running through green forest. Wow, the mind flips to this scene. Now I bring the thought: School of colorful fish swimming in the sky. These are thoughts but these thoughts create images that break the loops and chatter for a moment and this is instructive as to how easily led the mind is; how insubstantial thoughts are.

I can also use this method to lead the mind to a positive thought; like maybe that person who I had a conflict with is troubled in someway and I wish them the best. I want them to be free of suffering as I wish to be free.

I use my breath as a tether. I notice what my breathing is like. I am often amazed to find that I am holding my breath at times and at times my breath is shallow. If I am agitated my breath is shallow and rapid.

In breathing meditation I hold my attention on my breath, when thoughts arise I ignore them and return my concentration on my breath. My breathing becomes slow and deep going all the way down to the belly; in and out, it slows and deepens. And guess what?  I become calm and present. 

This breathing, deep and present, can also be employed when emotional and mental energy is strong to calm and bring oneself into the present moment.

The main thing is that you want to free yourself from being blown like a leaf on the wind of energy; you do not have to be run by your thoughts, they are just thoughts.

The spiritual technology handed down to us from the masters, reaching back to millennia, work. If you continue to practice, using what life places in your path, you will see glimpses of another aspect of your being. It may be only for a second, but that event will be profound for you.

But then... thoughts will rise again.  Energy, emotions, will rise again. The practice is ever present.